Ok! so after a lot of DAW demo versions later I have come to the conclusion that Ableton has thought this problem out the best.
You ARE able to undo/redo in Ableton <-Good news.
The only problem that I am running into is (I don't have a lot of VSTs to check btw)
If I make parameter changes on the actual 3rd party VST I am only allowed ONE undo, after that Ableton crashes.
BUT, if I make parameter changes on the Ableton's "in program" window. ALL IS GOOD
I am definitely making the switch to Ableton after messing around on it for the past couple of weeks.... I think I am in love